Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
