Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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