How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
