a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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