you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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