let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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