I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
