can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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