We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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