How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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