Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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