I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
