its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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