someone get that fucking seahorse.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
