guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
