He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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