i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
