why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
