i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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