I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
