So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
