Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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