My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need a beard to bite.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
