I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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