apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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