Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
