so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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