so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
