Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
