Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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