its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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