i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
