My brain says no but my pants say off.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
