Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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