Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
