I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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