last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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