Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
so much tequila, so little girl.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
