is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
