I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
