tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
