WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
