I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
