We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
