I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
