We're facebook friends in real life
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
