he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
