So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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