turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
