I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
