how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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