The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
